Yes it's a cliche. Yes millions of people make resolutions every January 1. But really, this isn't about it being a New Year. No, for me, this is about wanting to turn 40 stronger and healthier than I've ever been.
Christmas was a gong show of gluttony. Food was everywhere so I just grazed and grazed for two weeks. I ate when I knew full, when I wasn't hungry. I shoveled food into my mouth because it was there even when I knew it was not only bad for me but it didn't even taste that great. And now here I am about 10 lbs heavier than I was when I travelled south for the holidays. That means I'm 10 lbs further from my goal. Urgh.
For years I've been in denial telling myself that I'm at least fit and strong; even going so far as saying "there are skinny people who can't do what I do." Yea, okay maybe there are but so what? You're still fat. You're still a woman's size 16. You're still well over 200 lbs (I haven't yet decided if I can openly admit to my true weight yet...it's not easy). You still jiggle when you run. And your upper arms wobble like a turkey's chin. Don't get me wrong, there are things about myself I love...my eyes, my hair, my lips, my laugh, etc., etc. But I have this tendency to look in the mirror and skim over the parts I don't like. I don't take the time to really look at my body and it's about time I did.
I don't get it though, I know what I have to do but I just can't seem to make myself do it. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That's been my approach to weight loss and it hasn't really gotten me anywhere. So need to change my approach. I need to stop trying to do it on my own and accept the fact that I have to get help from family, friends, my doctor, strangers, whatever.
And though I know no one reads this blog it is my way to admit to the world that I have to make a change. I need to say my goals out loud to make myself achieve them. So here we go:
1. Lose 50 to 60 pounds
2. Run another 10k on May 28
3. Train for a half-marathon
4. Do 20 chin ups
5. Turn 40 feeling better about myself than I have ever have before
I think it's all achievable. Now all I need to do is set out my plan on how achieve these things and the first stop is tackling goal #1. Urgh. Of course that's the hardest one isn't it?
